Whole

Living feels like dying sometimes, fighting to be awake and alive. All the beautiful, messy people filing down toward the Cross and redemption and all the things that make them whole. I'm lagging behind, watching the tide ebb and flow and staying out of it completely. Where I sit I see the tragedy and the chaos and wonder why I try to comprehend You, wonder why I trust You as I do. Wake me up, help me to live and to die in all the right ways. I'm the reason things come undone, why things stay wound up so tightly that only You in Your strength can break me out. It's the tide and all the people and Your love that give me the courage to stand and walk forward, to join the Narrow Way and try not to go it alone.